Date watched: 8/19/20
Starring: David Miller, George Wilson, Sharon Taylor
Plot: A group of scientists band together to save the world from mutated killer tomatoes. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- The tomatoes are coming!
- Tomatoes can’t fly! — Yeah? — They can’t eat people either, but they’re doing one heck of an impression.
- We’ll never have another president as bad as this one.
- I know what you mean, Jim. I know what you mean. It’s like trying to stack bibles on whipped cream.
- That’s right. You know, they said I’d never get reelected, especially after it got out that I used the Statue of Liberty as collateral on that Arab loan.
- “FIA Unmarked Car Pool” – on side of car
- We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin. The following is an NBS hotline bulletin with Douglas Keikler in New York. NBS… the network that brings you the news as it happens, brings you these bulletins in times of emergency, the news you need to know when you need to know it, on NBS, the network of the news. This NBS news hotline bulletin is brought to you by Schritz Beer. You’re never too drunk to ask for Schritz. And by Bright Gums, the toothpaste for people without teeth or dentures. And by…
- *To dead body* — Mr. Dixon has ordered me to inform you that there’s tomato activity in your sector. *Salutes body and walks off*
- You know, Dixon, a man stops to think at a time like this about his home, his wife, his kids. — You married, major? — No. — Me either.
- You’re awfully confident for a man who has failed twice. — Three times, but who’s counting?
Viewer Quotes:
- <Every time it’s referred to as a vegetable> — FRUIT!
- She looks William Dafoe with long hair — she is his mother — green goblin grandma — Skeletor’s Sister — Skelet-her
- “You go disguise yourself as a tomato and infiltrate their camp.” – I’m calling it, that’s going to be to plot twist that works — *A while later, he says while in the tomato camp eating: “Hey, will somebody please pass the ketchup?” I don’t think it worked*
- He remind me of the male lead in The Great Muppet Caper (Charles Grodin)
- Why do they have to cover their ears? — Because it’s a terrible song?
- How is no one stepping on his parachute? — That’s all I’ve been thinking about since they started running
- So the long lost Belushi brother found love with Skeltor’s sister
Things we learned:
- The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes song was played as the morning wakeup so Columbia space shuttle, it was an inside joke because they took up 1.5M tomato seeds into space that were then given to school children for experiments
- The helicopter crash was real (like it was a mistake), it cost them $60K (more than the rest of the movie combined, $100K total). No one was hurt so they kept it in the movie
- The person who sang “Puberty Love” became the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam
- The guy with the parachute ended up being a state senator in CA and ended up getting the law passed that growers in CA had to label if tomatoes were artificially ripened or vine ripened
- The guy with the parachute tripped and smacked his head into a car during the dragging scene (he did all of own stunts). They were afraid he might have died, they had no release mechanism for the parachute.
Songs (names by us):
“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”
Attack of the killer tomatoes
attack of the killer tomatoes
they’ll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you
chew you up for brunch
and finish you off for dinner or lunch
they’re marching down the halls
they’re crawling up the walls
they’re gooey, gushy, squishy, mushy
rotten to the core
they’re standing outside your door
remember Herbert Farbage
while taking out his garbage
he turned around, and he did see
tomatoes hiding in his tree
now he’s just a memory
I know I’m going to miss her
a tomato ate my sister
sacramento fell today
they’re marching into San Jose
tomatoes are on their way
the mayor is on vacation
the governor’s fled the nation
the police have gone on strike today
the national guard has run away
tomatoes will have their day
attack of the killer tomatoes
attack of the killer tomatoes
they’ll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you
chew you up for brunch
and finish you off for dinner or lunch, munch, munch
dinner or lunch, munch, munch
dinner or lunch
“Mindmaker”
Some sell, some buy, and only we know why
the wrap is more important than the prize
important decisions are made each day
much too important for the plain folk to make
they’re always in a bind
depend on us to help make up their mind
red box, blue box, a red box and a blue box
bright colors and a coupon on the side
hard sell or soft sell, it’s all the same
millions of dollar bills are spent every day
where do they all go?
Mindmaker’s here to run the show
we sell cars and toys for girls and boys
and chairs and beds and shrunken heads
sugar beets and baseball cleats and ice to eskimos
leeks and mink and boats that sink
no matter what, we’ll get it sold
we’ll use catchy jingles, snappy tunes and pretty girls with big balloons
a little lie, a stretch of truth can turn the public’s head
there’s TV types and ad execs and everyone’s the best
and yet
they all look up
to a single man
and that one single man
is… me!
They sell, they buy, and only I know why
the human mind is putty in my hands
important decisions are made each day
much more important for the plain folk to make
they’re always in a bind
depend on me to help make up their mind
decision-wise
policy-wise,
demographically speaking
mindmaker!
“Military”
We stopped the Germans in ’45, then we crushed the viet cong (almost)
for a greater glory we could never strive
this crop uprising will not last long ain’t no time to make a fuss
we got to get those tomatoes
before they get us we’re gonna beat ’em, mash ’em,
squish ’em, bash ’em in the street
we’re gonna kick ’em, kick ’em, mush ’em, crush ’em with our feet
we’re gonna meet them, munch them, crunch them, gonna stomp ’em in place
T-o-m-a-t-o-e-s
tomatoes
we’ll squish them, we’ll mash them
we’ll mush them, we’ll crush them
we stopped to negotiate at the first attack
we gave ’em Alabama but they gave it right back
tomatoes, tomatoes
tomatoes
they said we’d live together like sister and brother
but they captured a cannery and bottled my mother
now she’s at the store and they’ll soon be back for more
those tomatoes
tomatoes
“Puberty Love”
Puberty
puberty love
there is nothing like puberty love
it’s so deep
it’s so cool
“The first time I saw you”
The first time i saw you
I hated your guts
I felt your love
for cigarette butts
but now that I’ve touched you
I always will love you
my love for you will never dim
until all the fish can’t swim
the first time i saw you
was such a thrill to me
I felt your nose
tickle my knee
our love will be classy
like Timmy and Lassie
I know that you’re ever mine
until the very end of time
Final Take:
The government never gets any better, the more things change the more things stay the same. There were a number of jokes that didn’t age well.