Plot: A gruff bounty hunter travels back in time to 1980s Los Angeles to stop a twisted criminal who can transform people into zombie-like creatures. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
He was a good cop. … Until a Trancer killed his wife.
“Lost Angeles” on a sign
Did you mean what you said last night? — Yeah, sure. What did I say last night? — Phil, come on! You said that making love to me was like the ethereal union of two lost souls.
Dry hair is for squids.
Security? We’ve got trouble at the North Pole.
If I see you in L.A. again I don’t care if you are a kid or an old lady or a kitty-Kat. I’m going to kick your ass.
Viewer Quotes:
What is Helen Hunt doing in this film?
So this is Blade Runner? — Discount Blade Runner. — This is Butter Knife Runner
How come that guy looks so much like Stephen Fry?
So now we know where Assassins Creed got the idea from
Oh dear god, we have a confederate flag jean jacket
“I’ll kill you and your bitchin’ girlfriend.” — Not “bitch of a” but “bitchin'”
Wait, did he go back in time into his ancestor’s body? <While he is hooking up with his ancestor’s one-night-stand> — We have a real Futurama situation here
That’s Leonard from Community, that’s how I found this movie!
Plot: A group of scientists band together to save the world from mutated killer tomatoes. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
The tomatoes are coming!
Tomatoes can’t fly! — Yeah? — They can’t eat people either, but they’re doing one heck of an impression.
We’ll never have another president as bad as this one.
I know what you mean, Jim. I know what you mean. It’s like trying to stack bibles on whipped cream.
That’s right. You know, they said I’d never get reelected, especially after it got out that I used the Statue of Liberty as collateral on that Arab loan.
“FIA Unmarked Car Pool” – on side of car
We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin. The following is an NBS hotline bulletin with Douglas Keikler in New York. NBS… the network that brings you the news as it happens, brings you these bulletins in times of emergency, the news you need to know when you need to know it, on NBS, the network of the news. This NBS news hotline bulletin is brought to you by Schritz Beer. You’re never too drunk to ask for Schritz. And by Bright Gums, the toothpaste for people without teeth or dentures. And by…
*To dead body* — Mr. Dixon has ordered me to inform you that there’s tomato activity in your sector. *Salutes body and walks off*
You know, Dixon, a man stops to think at a time like this about his home, his wife, his kids. — You married, major? — No. — Me either.
You’re awfully confident for a man who has failed twice. — Three times, but who’s counting?
Viewer Quotes:
<Every time it’s referred to as a vegetable> — FRUIT!
She looks William Dafoe with long hair — she is his mother — green goblin grandma — Skeletor’s Sister — Skelet-her
“You go disguise yourself as a tomato and infiltrate their camp.” – I’m calling it, that’s going to be to plot twist that works — *A while later, he says while in the tomato camp eating: “Hey, will somebody please pass the ketchup?” I don’t think it worked*
He remind me of the male lead in The Great Muppet Caper (Charles Grodin)
Why do they have to cover their ears? — Because it’s a terrible song?
How is no one stepping on his parachute? — That’s all I’ve been thinking about since they started running
So the long lost Belushi brother found love with Skeltor’s sister
Things we learned:
The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes song was played as the morning wakeup so Columbia space shuttle, it was an inside joke because they took up 1.5M tomato seeds into space that were then given to school children for experiments
The helicopter crash was real (like it was a mistake), it cost them $60K (more than the rest of the movie combined, $100K total). No one was hurt so they kept it in the movie
The person who sang “Puberty Love” became the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam
The guy with the parachute ended up being a state senator in CA and ended up getting the law passed that growers in CA had to label if tomatoes were artificially ripened or vine ripened
The guy with the parachute tripped and smacked his head into a car during the dragging scene (he did all of own stunts). They were afraid he might have died, they had no release mechanism for the parachute.
Songs (names by us):
“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”
Attack of the killer tomatoes attack of the killer tomatoes they’ll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you chew you up for brunch and finish you off for dinner or lunch they’re marching down the halls they’re crawling up the walls they’re gooey, gushy, squishy, mushy rotten to the core they’re standing outside your door remember Herbert Farbage while taking out his garbage he turned around, and he did see tomatoes hiding in his tree now he’s just a memory I know I’m going to miss her a tomato ate my sister sacramento fell today they’re marching into San Jose tomatoes are on their way the mayor is on vacation the governor’s fled the nation the police have gone on strike today the national guard has run away tomatoes will have their day attack of the killer tomatoes attack of the killer tomatoes they’ll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you chew you up for brunch and finish you off for dinner or lunch, munch, munch dinner or lunch, munch, munch dinner or lunch
“Mindmaker”
Some sell, some buy, and only we know why the wrap is more important than the prize important decisions are made each day much too important for the plain folk to make they’re always in a bind depend on us to help make up their mind red box, blue box, a red box and a blue box bright colors and a coupon on the side hard sell or soft sell, it’s all the same millions of dollar bills are spent every day where do they all go? Mindmaker’s here to run the show we sell cars and toys for girls and boys and chairs and beds and shrunken heads sugar beets and baseball cleats and ice to eskimos leeks and mink and boats that sink no matter what, we’ll get it sold we’ll use catchy jingles, snappy tunes and pretty girls with big balloons a little lie, a stretch of truth can turn the public’s head there’s TV types and ad execs and everyone’s the best and yet they all look up to a single man and that one single man is… me! They sell, they buy, and only I know why the human mind is putty in my hands important decisions are made each day much more important for the plain folk to make they’re always in a bind depend on me to help make up their mind decision-wise policy-wise, demographically speaking mindmaker!
“Military”
We stopped the Germans in ’45, then we crushed the viet cong (almost) for a greater glory we could never strive this crop uprising will not last long ain’t no time to make a fuss we got to get those tomatoes before they get us we’re gonna beat ’em, mash ’em, squish ’em, bash ’em in the street we’re gonna kick ’em, kick ’em, mush ’em, crush ’em with our feet we’re gonna meet them, munch them, crunch them, gonna stomp ’em in place T-o-m-a-t-o-e-s tomatoes we’ll squish them, we’ll mash them we’ll mush them, we’ll crush them we stopped to negotiate at the first attack we gave ’em Alabama but they gave it right back tomatoes, tomatoes tomatoes they said we’d live together like sister and brother but they captured a cannery and bottled my mother now she’s at the store and they’ll soon be back for more those tomatoes tomatoes
“Puberty Love”
Puberty puberty love there is nothing like puberty love it’s so deep it’s so cool
“The first time I saw you”
The first time i saw you I hated your guts I felt your love for cigarette butts but now that I’ve touched you I always will love you my love for you will never dim until all the fish can’t swim the first time i saw you was such a thrill to me I felt your nose tickle my knee our love will be classy like Timmy and Lassie I know that you’re ever mine until the very end of time
Final Take:
The government never gets any better, the more things change the more things stay the same. There were a number of jokes that didn’t age well.
Plot: Hundreds of dinosaurs created by a biotech firm escape into Los Angeles, and wreak havoc on the city. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
At the end of the day, it’s not about Stocks. Or investments or even old men who can walk again. It’s about cool, Kick ass cool.
I don’t care how crazy it sounds. I need to know.
No. You’re a fire fighter find us a way out. You have to.
Can Dinosaurs climb? … Dr. Carson. You’re a vet. Do Dinosaurs Climb?
You’re not gonna believe this, Dinosaurs have taken over the building. … Son. I am in no mood for Jokes. … Snaps picture on flip phone and sends it with message “No Joke!”
I didn’t ask to bring this freakshow to life! I just made it happen. 🤔
Uncle Leo! I’m trapped. — Thank god. 🤨
…and as you can see the military is in control of the situation. Seemingly they are shooting anything on site, that is big, moving, and reptilian.
And then they just die? <dramatic pause> It depends.
Sir you can’t be here. – I’m LAFD. – Shit! Well then help us!
And his final words were… Final words. Final words. Of course. Rock and Roll.
Hey, you’re really not gonna- Yes you are… <helicopter does a barrel-roll> whoa! You’re good. — I know.
Bye, Bye, Birdie.
Viewer Quotes:
I really hope we get a “Release Me” scene – 3 min later – *dinosaur does independence day scene* 🙌
The back of his chair looks like someone spray painted a cardboard box
Hey, that’s the NuMbEr OnE FiReFiGhTeR iN tHe CiTy, he doesn’t give a shit
Don’t taze me bro
Dinosaur in the kitchen moment!
Get to tha choppar
Things we learned:
Firefighters are universally known and widely respected. Saying you are a firefighter will get SWAT to put down their guns
The city is still full of dinosaurs but seems like a good place to end the movie 🤷♂️ 👍
Final Take:
Firefighters aren’t just cool…. they are kick-ass cool!
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