Date watched: 7/8/20
Starring: Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio
Plot: Count Dracula terrorizes the crew of a spaceship. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- I put up with your shit because you’re big, black and ugly. I’d love it if you’d just learn to take an order and shut the fuck up
- “Don’t worry about it”
- If I die this is going to go down as the worst summer job I ever had
- Bro, this is how they used to smuggle shit back in the day. Might find something — Bro, this is how they used to carry dead bodies back in the day.
- “Don’t worry about it”
- Did I ever tell you how many times I’d see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazongas?
- This vampire dude, he’s a brother? — No, Humvee, he is not a black man. — Well, excuse me for sayin’, all this bloodsucking stuff, that’s some white people shit, right?
Viewer Quotes:
- HUGE tracts of ambition
- Ahh, space communists
- “She is NWC” — You know me
Things we learned:
- We still have racism way out into the future
- You can always kill a vampire with a pool cue (as long as they are still using natural wood from 2950)
- Vampires are aliens from the planet Transylvania
- Comptonia has the best weed
- Sometimes Pleasure Bots are reprogramed to be narcs
Final Take:
If you run out of budget just have the ship explode abruptly at the end.