Date watched: 6/9/21
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Peter Stormare
Plot: Brother-sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch hunters who help innocent villagers. But they soon stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- Is it hot enough for you now bitch?
- Then again, we hunt witches for a living. What’s normal, really?
- Damn you! — Too late, already damned.
Viewer Quotes:
- It’s so veiny (In reference to the shotgun)
- “A child was taken, ma’am. We’re here to find him and take him back. There’s no children here. Here … There is only death!” — Oh, well then we’ll be going then
- The anachronisms will continue until morale improves
- This is a weird Harry Potter movie
- “Say your name or I’ll pin you to the fucking wall.” — Kinky…
- What are you doing step-troll?
- This pull-string defibrillator is pretty neat
- You’re never too good to beat a bitch with a shovel — That’s what I always say
- Isn’t this on PornHub as “Brother and Sister doubleteam a MILF”? — NO! It’s a WILF
Things we learned:
- It’s a penis
- It’s a dick
- It’s veiny and it’s girth-y
Rule 34 Titles:
- Brother and Sister doubleteam a WILF
- Hansel & Gretel: WILF Hunters
Final Take:
While the plot might be flacid, the firearms are not