Date watched: 4/21/21
Starring: Jack Scalia, Jeremy Luke, Joseph Russo
Plot: A cast of characters, strikingly similar to the cast of Jersey Shore, try to survive an epidemic of sharks attacking Miami Beach. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- We can’t leave Vinny bobbing around like this. We got to give him a proper burial. — Seriously? They’re just going to cremate him and sprinkle his ashes in the sea. We saved ’em a bunch of steps.
- You really think you’re gonna attract sharks with protein bars? — Nothing’s going to resist 25 grams of power-packed peanut-butter crunch.
- You call this a venue? I mean, when I asked you to book me something, like, on a boardwalk, I meant Atlantic City, not Seaside Heights. This is embarrassing. Justin wouldn’t put up with this.
- Listen, I don’t do autographs before my performance, okay? — No, we don’t want your autograph. — Why not? – Joey Fatone, formally of NSYNC
- Everyone we spoke to was shaken by the events. — Like Moby Dick, but with a fin.
- He took aim with his harpoon and, bada-bing,- shot him through his left eye. — Why the left? — Because that’s the eye of the devil.
Viewer Quotes:
- Looks like Danny DeVito — More like Guido DeVito
- My name is The Complication, you killed my friend JP, prepare to die
- I don’t think any of have ever punched a drunk guido in the face — Well I have…
Things we learned:
- Don’t mess with the guidos
- A 4″ heel is worth it but sometimes you’ve just got to let it go
- A tan guido vs an albino shark = the guido winds
- Sometimes Italian guys are named Patrick
- If you get get pounded too loud you might attract unwanted attention
Rule 34 Titles:
- Jersey Shore Skank Attack
Final Take:
Guidos: hearts and chains of gold