12
Nov
20

Frankenhooker (1990)

Date watched: 11/11/20

Starring: James LorinzJoanne RitchiePatty Mullen

Plot: A medical student sets out to recreate his decapitated fiancée by building her a new body made of Manhattan street prostitutes.  (From IMDB)

Quotes:

  • Honey-pie, can’t you picture yourself in this body? Kneeling on Ma’s couch in the basement.
  • Oh no, not the devil’s music.
  • Please, there are programs you can check into.
  • Stop that. That’s not natural. <2 women kissing> Wait a minute. For cryin’ out loud. You’re like cats with catnip. Just stop that. Your body wasn’t meant to do that!
  • Song lyrics from “The devils music”: Safe sex is for wimps, Anyone can drive sober…, Always carry a gun, Russian-rouletters never grow old, Never say no, Play this song backwards
  • Fucking exploded. One minute, they are my bitches. The next they are pieces all over!
  • Ohh Pavelarna Drake! Mother of Harlots. And abomned nations of the earth. Are we sure unto thee, the judgment of the Grey whore, the woman arrayed in purple and Scarlett. Things of the earth has committed fornications. And lived illiciously with her. They shall whale and lament when they see the smoke of her burning. — So, you’ve seen her? — She’s in the Bar!
  • Who the fuck are you? How come you know about me and Jersey Boy? This aint your tattoo. This aint your arm! Where’d you get this arm? This is one of my bitches arm!
  • But I feel so strange. As if there were so many different women inside of me.

Viewer Quotes:

  • How are the fish not eating all that brain food?
  • “My reasoning is all twisted and distorted, you know? I seem to be disassociating myself from reality. More and more. Each day. I’m anti-social. I’m becoming dangerously amoral. I’ve lost the ability to distinguish between right from wrong. Good from bad. I’m scared Ma. I mean..I feel like sometimes I’m.. I’m plunging headfirst into some kind of black void of sheer utter madness, or something.” — Oh, so quarantine
  • Is that your spark plug or are you just happy to see me?
  • Would you say he was giving himself… head? <Referring to the trepanning scene>
  • <Hookers suddenly explode> — *Chef’s kiss*
  • <Main character hoists leg with fishnet stocking over shoulder>He’s got that one for the leg-lamp that he is going to create
  • That’s a pile of boobs — Fruit platter <Boobs = Fruit, BTW>
  • 5 second rule!
  • I’m very excited for the Chekhov’s refrigerator — Yeah, James is calling for Cronenbergs
  • Huh… The way she is walking she must have had a good time
  • It’s like silicon valley, I set up a hooker incubator in my garage
  • I thought that was Danny DeVito — So this guy is clearly trying to be dollar store Danny DeVito
  • THE DOOR IS 69 — Nice
  • Guys don’t worry, he’s just tucking in his shirt
  • Talk about premature….
  • Sean Connery is in this? WTF!
  • We fucked it up Morty, we cronenberged the entire planet

Things we learned:

  • Super crack kills
  • If you are going to cut off someone’s head don’t go just for the neck, go for a touch of clavicle
  • It didn’t age well
  • This came out BEFORE Jeffrey Dahmer was caught, this movie took 12 years to make, the first Jeffrey Dahmer killing we know about was in June 1978… Make of that what you will.
  • Written another way this movie overlapped with Jeffrey Dahmer’s killings, the main character is named Jeffery, he looks like Dahmer, he wears similar glasses…

Final Take:

This is a terrifying tale of sluts and bolts.