08
Oct
20

Super Mario Bros (1993)

Date watched: 10/7/20

Starring:  Bob HoskinsJohn LeguizamoDennis Hopper

Plot: Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.  (From IMDB)

Quotes:

  • Strap your bone on, kid. We’re goin’ in.
  • Oh-for-five, Oh-for-five. — What percent is that? — I don’t know. Let me think. — I don’t know, but it’s not good.
  • I’m getting arrested for being a plumber.
  • Alien species escaping from police detention… — Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too? — Luigi, we’re the aliens! — We are? Whoa! Cool!
  • And you know what they say about little girls, don’t you? — No. — Mm? They say… they never forget the first time they’re kissed by a lizard.
  • Was she corpulent? Very corpulent? — No, she was just really round.
  • Dance with me. I’ll hit you all you like.
  • I’d like the Koopa Special. — Pterodactyl tail on that? — Yes. Dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms, and…spicy.
  • These pipes haven’t been serviced for years. — Must’ve been a non-union job.
  • We gotta do something. We tripped the alarm. What do you think I am? Stupid? — Yes. How we gonna get up? Huh?
  • Can’t you get somebody to fix the heating? — How can they let us suffer like this? What are they? Cold-blooded? — Yes, moron. They’re reptiles. — Well, just because they’re reptiles…
  • Hey! You must be the missing girls from Brooklyn. — Except Angelica, she’s from Queens, but she’s all right.

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Scapelli’s been trying to force us out ever since we got here. It’s sabotage” — Listen all y’all, it’s a sabotage
  • “I got a feeling.” – That tonight’s going to be a good night
  • I like how they had that news report about the other dimensions at the start — Chekhov’s television program?
  • “Where are we? — I don’t know. Maybe we got knocked unconscious for 100 years and woke up in Manhattan of the future.” — That’s a good first guess…
  • “Good. Now, where’s the rock? — Rock, sir?” — So don’t let him leave the room without us
  • “You must be the great Koopa. — That I am. Ruler of all that you see. A few miserable streets and endless desert.” — Ahh, so like how NY sees the rest of the world
  • She looks like Marv from Home Alone 2

Things we learned:

  • The lizard people really are in charge… just in another dimension
  • Are the Goombas the Proud Boys?

Final Take:

That movie was a pipe dream…