Date watched: 6/30/21
Starring: Pamela Anderson, Amir AboulEla, Adriana Alexander
Plot: During the Second American Civil War in 2017, Barb Wire owns a nightclub called the Hammerhead. Things become complicated when her ex-lover Axel Hood, who is married to the fugitive Corrina Devonshire, re-enters her life. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- Ms. Kopetski died in the war. I’m Barb Wire.
- I will make my offer in person. — If I were you, I wouldn’t do that. — Why? — Miss Wire’s private secretary, Camille here (gestures to guard dog), doesn’t have you in her appointment book. And she can be very mean. (Dog barks) You see?
- Look, we just stick with the plan, OK? — (Associate is shot) — Change of plans.
- Camille, package check. (Dog bites guys crotch)
- Normally, I don’t get emotional about my work, but vaporizing your springy ass is going to be a real pleasure.
Viewer Quotes:
- Sorry guys, I guess I voted for a documentary
- “The year was 2017, the worst year of my life.” — Oh, just wait 3 years…
- She just really likes being wet — She’s alway’s wet
- It’s WAP – Wet Ass Pamala
- “You a cop? — (Opens jacket) See a badge?” — I see a vag
- If he can’t get that key in that hole then it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the evening
- “Why don’t you go change into something a little more comfortable? — How about something a little less comfortable?” — Gimp outfit (chanted 3 times) — Please not a baby (It was thankfully a gimp outfit)
- “Very interesting woman. — With most impressive assets.” — Huge tracts of land
- “In an emergency, pull that yellow lever.” — What type of an emergency‽‽‽
Things we learned:
- If you dye your hair too much it will kill it dead
- Post Apocalyptic Pamala Anderson is always Switzerland
- To escape the Congressionals, call 1-800-Contacts
- Congressional insurance does not cover contact lenses
- I fought the law, and the law won, but then the law changed sides
Rule 34 Titles:
- Barb Underwire
Final Take:
This movie would have been much better without it’s plot, aka a soft-core action-porn