17
Jun
21

Beerfest (2006)

Note: This was a special watch for one of our group’s birthday.

Date watched: 6/16/21

Starring: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme

Plot: Two brothers travel to Germany for Oktoberfest, only to stumble upon a secret, centuries-old competition described as a “Fight Club” with beer games. (From IMDB)

Quotes:

  • I happen to have married that plastic fuck doll!
  • (Is performing CPR on husband, pulls something out of her mouth) — Oh, my God, what is that? — Ham.
  • Those Germans said our grandfather stole their family recipe. — If he had it, why didn’t he brew it? — Hebrew?
  • It’s beautiful. — It’s magical. — It’s laughing at me. — I wish I could brush my teeth with it. — I wanna put my dick in it. — I want it to put its dick in me. (Talking about a beer)
  • Krista said she couldn’t handle all the lies and the drinking anymore. She took the kids and left. — Oh, my God. You’ve got kids?
  • Wow, you even talk like a whore. — We are all whores in some way, Mr. Finkelstein.
  • I don’t know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass. — Wasn’t the handle. I’ve been shitting pancakes ever since.
  • You know, I came to a conference here once. Hookerthon 2002. Fantastic seminars.

Viewer Quotes:

  • 🎵Honey, I’m still free take a chance on me🎵
  • “You do not speak of Beerfest outside of Beerfest!” — First rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club
  • Your Gam Gam swallows better than that!
  • Kermit wants more!

Things we learned:

  • Turn the boot
  • The Germans are better at swallowing
  • We all sleep better with a little bit of sausage in us
  • If you have to ask what it is you can’t afford it

Rule 34 Titles:

  • Boobfest
  • ZJ-fest

Final Take:

We are all whores in some way – Gam Gam