Date watched: 3/10/21
Starring: Rebecca Romijn, Arden Myrin, Hayley Griffith
Plot: A pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life – and her tips – when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- Five years ago, I took an order to Mill Basin. The fuckers stiffed me for the tip and slammed the door in my face. So I went through the window, and everybody’s boning… like, dudes, chicks, dogs and cats, a frog and shit. So I’m in there getting it, like, “Ribbit!” Like everybody’s all, “Unh! Unh!” And I passed the hat. Made $32. You go to Mill Basin a delivery boy, but you come back a delivery man.
- That’s a Kmart bra, so I’m assuming you’re not one of them.
- For fuck’s sake, they were about to bang me to death with a giant killdo, okay?
- Don’t be a fascist, Gypsy. We didn’t sell our souls so we could clomp around outdoors like a bunch of goddamn hippies. — Fascists get things done.
- Well, I have an eight ball of cocaine and feel empty inside. Why don’t you come over and fill me up?
- No, I know what you’re thinking, but even if I stuck a fucking candle up your cooch, it’s strictly dickly when it comes to black magic.
- Damn it, Kyle.
Viewer Quotes:
- (Guys slips all over the place trying to run away) – That’s what you get for leaving your socks on during sex
- “We run the world.” — (at the same time) “Girls!” and “Who run the world?”
- “Are you ready to make an investment in your future?” — What hedge fund is this?
- “Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong.” — I feel like some hedge fund has that in latin on their seal
- I swear to god… if she pops out 2 fuzzy bunnies…. OMG!
Things we learned:
- Don’t be a pizza delivery man… girl… person
- Premarital sex may save you from a satanic cult
- Satanism is an MLM
- Homeschoolers all belong to some kind of cult
Rule 34 Titles:
- Two Fuzzy Bunnies
- Killdo
- Satanism 101: Strictly Dickly
Final Take: