Date watched: 3/17/21
Starring: Killian Coyle, Stuart Graham, Michael Hough
Plot: When an island off the coast of Ireland is invaded by bloodsucking aliens, the heroes discover that getting drunk is the only way to survive. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- It’s dead, right? — Um, I’m not sure. — You are not what? — The basic tests I’ve done so far have shown up nothing usual or normal. It is beyond mystifying. I mean, really, I can’t be sure without opening it up. — /smacks the alien body with a plank of wood/ ‘Tis dead.
- All this thing needs to survive… is blood and water. — Could you put it on the eBay? Do you think?
- What killed him, Jim? — The fact that he’s just a head.
- You know what’s to blame for all this? Global warming. You got your icebergs melting, and your thingamajigs flooding. The whole world is drowning, and we have don’t have the gills for it.
- It’s trying to fuck me face!
- /After stabbing the creature multiple times/ — There goes THE scientific discovery of our time. Imagine all that we could’ve learned. Oh… Still moving? — /Starts stabbing the creature multiple times again/
- I would’ve helped, but I have a bad back.
- All right, weapons. What have we got? — Crap. — I have a nail gun /uses it on a board/ and a board with a nail in it.
- Did you split because, um… because of your alcoholic-isis?
- /Said in a monotone-drunk voice/ No, don’t be a hero.
- Smith, listen to me! Listen to me! It’s bigger than you think. Get back inside now, please. I’m begging ya! — I need a photograph with it for National Geographic… and Facebook.
Viewer Quotes:
- /Man gets stabbed and pulled overboard/ — “Skipper! Dad!” — You are going to yell “Skipper” before you yell “Dad”? That’s not a healthy relationship.
- In honor of St Patrick’s day, drink every time they say “Paddy”
- That seems suspiciously like Chekhov’s Hooch…
Things we learned:
- If you are always drunk you are probably fine
- Sometimes getting drunk IS the solution
Rule 34 Titles:
- Gropers
Final Take:
Grab a seat and watch this movie