Date watched: 3/3/21
Starring: Alec Owen, Ben Gigli, Olivia Taylor Dudley
Plot: In the wake of two back-to-back mass murders on Chico’s frat row, loner Brent Chirino must infiltrate the ranks of a popular fraternity to investigate his twin brother’s murder at the hands of the serial killer known as “Motherface.” (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- The junior-year streaking contest was under way. I was supposed to officiate, but I couldn’t go because I got pink eye. That fart on my face saved my life.
- But in the end, thanks to our good looks and bond of brotherhood, the Delta Bis triumphed once more.
- It’s time you take your life… …back.
- My whole family was once murdered by wolves.
- I’m ready to party until my pants fall off.
- This is Todd. We call him T-O-Double-D for short.
- No, Todd, we’re Americans! We can do whatever we want with no consequences! No consequences in America!
- Well, they don’t call me Ol’ Iron Arms Headcheese for nothing. Just 20 more miles, and I’ll have an ice-cold brew waiting for me. Ha! Oh, monkey butts. Is it so pooping hard to load a legacy into a… a whore paddle boat?! That’s it. I’m gonna say it. F-f-f-fuck this creek! Those dick farts never gave two shitting bitches about Ol’ Iron Arms. They’ll see. I’ll show those vagina faces what’s what. Those Delta Bi titty jizzers will regret the day they were…
- Not gonna lie, Candace… That sounds real boring. I would not want to get banged in a bookmobile.
- Virgin strength!
- Quit remembering your dead brother and jump in the water.
- Please let me in! I just got punched in the face, and my boyfriend’s dead! This weekend is not going at all how I planned it.
- Pause the tape. Enhance. I said enhance, damn you! Now squint.
- I was honestly glad we didn’t wear seat belts! You know, fuck safety!
- Oh, you don’t care. You don’t even know our names. — Yea… yeah, I do. — Name us. — Todd… no. Turtleneck. Turtleneck bro… Flannel bro. — Lucky guess. Only ’cause we’re named after our shirts.
- Admit it, Motherface. You are our nation’s 40th president. — Damn it, Brent. How did you know?
- I’ll always be with you, Brent… inside your butt giving you powers.
Viewer Quotes:
- Drink every time you see Reagan or he is mentioned
- That’s a cat’s mantra: “I don’t know if you’ve ever… bopped anybody on the nose before, but, uh… it sure brings about a lot of closure.”
- You don’t put your hand in a hole!
- New drinking rule, anytime someone rips their shirt off.
Things we learned:
- You can lose your virginity to a bag of oranges?
- Ripping your shirt off, absolutely, does not solve anything
- Make sure the frat you join has real greek letters
- The only way to be successful in the paddleboat business is to make a deal with the devil to sacrifice your family. You can have one or the other, you can’t have both.
Final Take:
President Reagan was behind the whole thing.