Date watched: 12/30/20
Starring: Karen Knox, Jessica Clement, Joseph Cannata
Plot: Holly returns to her hometown to make an Xmas special with a cameraman before promotion to TV anchorwoman. She’ll have to face Satan Claus and horrible childhood memories of him. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- I can be cordial. Like how is your hot cousin? — Oh, you mean my cousin Chris Pringle.
- I lost 162 pounds this past winter. — Jesus. — Well I definitely prayed to him
- Oh, and by the way, your earring is super lame. Where did you get it? Hot Topic?
- I’m Sheriff Wreath. This is Deputy Wreath. — You guys don’t happen to be related to Joy, do you? — Why, ’cause we’re the only black people in town? — Because your last name’s are both Wreath.
- Do you hear that? — My heart beating like a little drummer boy?
- The only person that you love is your drunk, demented, depraved big city
- How the frankincense am I supposed to relax right now? — Well, you used to be a competitive snowman builder, right? — Okay yeah, that’s not a thing. — Tell that to my coach. I medaled at the world snowman championship in Finland. Twice.
- Okay, boys, boys boys boys. There’s no need to fight. Why don’t we head back to my sister’s place and have a little four person dance party in my childhood bedroom? — Wait, I don’t remember the floor in your room being that big, Hol.
Viewer Quotes:
- That’s some pregnancy discrimination right there, god damn it…
- So her handwriting is still the same as a child? — Thank you, I was going to say the same thing, get out of my head
- “Fuck me while I still have this mustache on” – Candace, probably
- “A monster took the Mayor!” — She didn’t go to her police brother?
- There are a lot of people making snap decisions at the end of this…
Things we learned:
- Those vaping teens shakes fist in air
- Drink whenever vaping teens are mentioned, the “big city”, when she drinks alcohol, or when the music swells for a romantic interest
Final Take:
Don’t misspell things.