Date watched: 11/4/20
Starring: Alexander Mendeluk, Kate Nauta, Benjamin Easterday
Plot: Avalanche Sharks tells the story of a bikini contest that turns into a horrifying affair when it is hit by a shark avalanche. (From IMDB)
Quotes:
- Get your military ass in here, I’ve been taking care of myself for 2 years, it’s your turn to do all the work.
- It’s all clearly spelled out in the travel itinerary
- It’s sexual tree time
- Love is the answer, I know that I’m not afraid anymore, I love you guys, and I love Barb, I love you, I love Barb, I love my life, I love Barb, I love my parents, I love my job, and I’m not going to smoke dope anymore, because it’s love, love is the answer, it’s all about <leg get’s bitten> LOVE!
- Are you crazy? — No, I am not. I’m a marine. Now let me think.
- I want to live in a warm place without snow. In Florida, no, not Florida… Not by the sea. I hear they have sand sharks.
- I eat pieces of fish like you for breakfast!
Viewer Quotes:
- Checking DidTheDogDie and we are not looking forward to the “Small furry stillness” — Ok someone read the comments on the wrong movie, nvm — <later during lobster cooking scene> “Small shelly stillness”
- Ross, no! — With a name like Ross is it really a loss? — Um I think that was the goggles brand — Nvm, his name WAS Ross
- We aren’t rooting for anything in this film right? — No, no, no, except maybe that crazy guy
- Did KIND bar pay for that or did they fail to pay to not be in it?
- We weren’t sure if if they said “sexual treat time” or “sexual tree time”, we voted and decided on tree. #WetAshPussy “I want to wal-nut all over you”, “I pine for you”, “I want to do you in the knot-hole”, “That’s a nice piece of ash”
- Sarah (name replaced), you would tell me if you were searching for a shark right?
- We actually have a traveling baseball team named the Bluegrass Sharks — I’ve been looking for them for 25 years!
- You were just talking about loving her and now you are comparing her to a sloppy joe? <five seconds later> “I should have told her I love her!”
- He wrote his name on everything — Later we are going a scrap of his boxers and it will have ROSS written in block letters
- Quote yourself! — Is that the new “Treat yo self”? — Quote yo self
- SHOOOOTT HERRRRR
- He is here for exclusively expositional purposes, he’s there to be bad with women and provide expositional services
- Is this the “soft furry stillness”?
Things we learned:
- Don’t go skiing on spring break with a bunch of idiots
- Always take a Japanese foreigner with you to pull you out of a mystic rut on a mountain
- Police apparently keep a child’s drawing of their parent’s murder for 25 years.
Final Take:
Security of weapons in the sheriff’s chateau was rather loosey-goosey and why wasn’t this called “Snow Sharks”?