23
Jul
20

Terror Train (1980)

Date watched: 7/22/20

Starring:  Ben JohnsonJamie Lee CurtisHart Bochner

Plot: Three years after a prank that went terribly awry, the six college students responsible are targeted by a masked killer at a New Year’s Eve party aboard a moving train. (From IMDB)

Quotes:

  • *Screaming, slowed down*
  • We ain’t Amtrak, we’re just an old fashioned excursion train
  • I’ll be on the cover of Time in the cab — I will be on a Concorde and you will be on welfare.
  • *Guy performs a magic trick* — *guy in background* Smart Aleck
  • I never saw anybody so dead like that
  • I’m a doctor damn it!
  • I don’t wanna get involved in any controversy on the situation in the Middle East but as senior senator from my state, I think I can speak for my constituents, indeed all Americans, when I say, “Fuck ’em!”. You know, there are certain phrases in American history that have caught the fancy of the American people. The phrase that’s always caught my fancy or aroused me, as it were, is “Let’s bomb them suckers into the Stone Age”. You know, it wouldn’t be like Vietnam. They don’t have no jungle to hide under, just sand and rock. To my way of thinkin’, if the United States Cavalry can take care of Paiutes and Comanches a B-52 ought to do just fine with those camel jockeys. Of course, this is strictly off the record, you understand. Yeah, sure. Of course, you’re all aware of my campaign platform which is a return to the gold standard, euthanasia for all welfare recipients, and six N.F.L. Franchises, each with its own stadium, for the state of Louisiana. And our campaign slogan which is, “Let them eat brownies.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • Please, come in and plow my friend
  • Pay no attention to the women behind the curtain
  • Tricks are what whores do for money
  • Because of the implication

Things we learned:

  • If your boyfriend’s friend is a dick don’t get on a train with him
  • Just because you are in medical doesn’t mean you are a “doctor”
  • The conductor is going to be blamed for all of it because his fingerprints are over all of it
  • Never put down your weapon
  • Don’t emotionally traumatize a murderer
  • Actually don’t emotionally traumatize anyone
  • Classic example of Hollywood’s trains-phobia
  • You can wear a mask for 1 hour and 35 minutes without dying of low oxygen levels 🤔

Final Take:

Put a radio in your train. If someone in a mask isn’t talking… maybe ask them to pull up their mask (maybe not in 2020 but if it’s a halloween mask then yes). Why did they have a train car that no one had been in for year? Do they not care about their kilometer per shovelful of coal?