Bad Movie Wednesday

Date watched: 5/13/20

Starring: Hugo Silva, Mario Casas, Pepón Nieto

Plot: A gang of armed robbers finds a safe haven in a secluded village crammed with witches–only to encounter the bizarre, the unexpected, and the occult. Can they save themselves, and the rest of the world from the next witch apocalypse? (From IMDB)

Rules:

• (none – we aren’t good at this)

Quotes:

• “Run Christ, for christ’s sake!”
• Where did you read that Ripley’s? No, World’s greatest mysteries
• If she’s alive… I don’t know. If she is dead… I still don’t know
• What is she doing with the broom? Not sweeping up, that’s for sure
• Excuse me but that really hurts. Then cry quietly
• I read in cosmopolitan that men are getting floppier and floppier
• How long does it take someone to burn? I don’t know, this is my first time
• I don’t want her to change, I like her the way she is: Feisty

Viewer Quotes:

• Frog Lube
• Ahh yes, comically large silverware…
• She is going to ride him like a broom
• Tig ol’ Bitties
• I just love how they dressed up that boy like a strawberry

Things we learned:

• Do not bring your child on a robbery
• Never use a gas station toilet
• Don’t leave behind your bag of gold rings
• Don’t piss off lawyers
• If you see a “naked piglet” on the side of the road, go back and get them
• Use your powers for school talent shows

Final Take:

Will we ever know what that last line was? (Note: the movie was in Spanish with English subtitles but the last line wasn’t translated). Witches are a very tight knit community. This was basically Shawn of the Dead but with witches.